Need some wisdom 🧐

Hey guys, so I need some opinions from you guys because the only advice I can get at home is “weed is terrible” all from people who have never tried it.

In high school I tried smoking to impress a girl I liked and honestly didn’t really care for it that much. Fast forward to 20-21 ish i would smoke occasionally with friends (every few months) and then maybe a year after that, i began pretty regularly for about a year and then after some emotional trauma It became daily. I never smoked during the day, it was only at night when I was done all my work I would smoke and go to bed and watch the office or something and have a blast lol. Because of my old fashioned parent, the couldn’t never smoke herb at home so I started smoking shatter/distilled pens, this would save me time in smoking because it was stronger and would have lost any smell that my parents would notice. I also had my fair share of edible but overall remained a pretty light weight.

So one night I smoked my pen like usually and just began to panic, it was so so bad. It took my worst nightmares (I worry about my health) and just made a real life nightmare. I thought I was going to die, couldn’t breath, etc and after x amount of time, passed out. In my mind I thought okay maybe some hard chemicals in the pen, ill avoid that. Maybe the next night or a couple nights later i tried one of the first edibles I ever had years ago, thinking okay this will be light etc. Same thing! Got in bed, and had the exact same panic attack! At that point I was almost done, I took a few days off, and then had a camping trip with my buddies and ended up taking a few hits off a joint, thinking okay this has to be way lighter! And it was, I still felt a little paranoia but I was able to distract myself with a good beer and a card game.

After that I decided to quit cold turkey the next morning. I never intended for it to be permanent, but i wanted to make sure it wasn’t just a over use build up over time. It’s now been 1 year and 2 months roughly. But now every so often I miss that pure bliss/euphoria feeling that everything is so happy and sinking into the bed with no worries what so ever. I’ve been considering smoking again but marking it a very irregular thing mine once a month or even longer in between. I’m just hesitant now because I don’t want to induce one of those panic attacks again and if I do then In my head I feel like that would be over a year wasted. But at the same time, I get so stressed about my health still and other things, more then I ever did in the past, I’m 26 and can see some greys coming in and I feel like as bad as that panic attack may be, if I dont smoke and relax, the stress itself is going to ki me!!!

I know this is a long read, and I’m forever grateful for anyone who reads it, I really just need some advise from you guys.

Ps I’ve thought about just doing pure cbd??

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